Dearest Soul Friend,
Life can be sooo good sometimes. But, some other times, you may just feel like you are counting the knockouts!
I'm so grateful that even though there is so much change going on in my life and so many things going sideways in my life, I still manage to find a healthy way out of it—a quality we all possess but don't use often.
Everything should pass with a little bit of patience and a pound of tolerance. It always does! On the other hand, I've discovered new tricks on getting by while through the storm. And as I share them with you, I hope you feel a light shine upon yourself and are able to use these tools in your own path.
During the last month, I've been dealing with the process of losing a friend while dealing with the self-guilt (that special character that doesn't let you move on!)
I gave into that new painful experience and discovered a process to self-forgiveness, while letting go and turning the experience into a nurturing one!
If you ever fall into that trap, try this three baby steps to self-forgiveness. It's perfect for when others are not willing to forgive you. Just give yourself an opportunity to march towards self-discovery and growth.
STEP 1 : Find an emotional escape
This is your outlet: let out all the pain, anger, frustration, sorrow and any other negative emotions that have been hushed up on the inside. I like to look around for my own moment of silence, a place where I can write, cry and simply feel free to express myself. This may end up happening in the middle of the night or day. It doesn't matter when or where, but it matters, so make it happen. My last writings came out as a very interesting poem, that I felt I should share with you (find it at the end of this letter!!)
STEP 2: Time out for healing
Time may help you feel better, but, even better, if you can use time to pro-actively make you better! Keep doing things that you love on a daily basis (and only those that keep you healthy!) Use your own power of healing on yourself! It's all within, you just have to wake it up! Sing, dance, chant, cook, do yoga, do some gardening, be with yourself, talk to yourself in a compassionate way (even if you look crazy doing it!). It's a moment to offer yourself the time to be loved by the one who loves you the most, your divine Self!
STEP 3: Time to forgive
When others are offended by your actions, the best you can do is talk and look for ways to amend the wrongs. But if the other party is not willing to give in, you must be able to give in to yourself. Forgiving, especially self-forgiving, is so powerful, it's a process of reclaiming your power and understanding that you did your best at that very moment. Forgiveness won't resolve the past but it will clear the way to improve your future. Forgiveness is a powerful skill, the more you do it, the better you get at it! So, get on with it!
Now is your turn. Are there any baby steps you have found useful in your own path towards self-forgiveness?
Wishing you the best in your own path!
PS Find below my first baby step on finding self-forgiveness, with writing being my emotional escape. This happened a few weeks ago at 3:00 am when a dear friend of mine felt offended by my (in)actions and pretty much blocked me out of his life. While I was trying to communicate my grief, the wall this friend put up didn't let me amend my wrongs. So, here is the result of my frustration and pain...
A Poem to a Lost Friend
I'm sorry that I lost you, dear friend.
I'm sorry that you have chosen to run far away.
I hope happiness keeps you company wherever you stand.
I hope love keeps on walking by your side.
I feel disheartened by this moment, but I will honor the past we shared.
I feel disheartened by what we lost, but I'm willing to close this book and start anew.
Please know that, in that old book, I gave my best, with a ton of love, a spark of compassion, and a cup of selflessness
Yet, I also sometimes swam in the waters of errors, resentment and imperfection.
I know you are not able to forgive me, but please know that I'm willing to forgive myself.
I know you are not able to love me anymore, but please know I've got my own back, and I'll love myself even more.
I deeply hope someday you come to your senses and honor this gift: our past.
I deeply hope you choose to reject your anger and remember that this friend gave all that she had and all she didn't have to help each one of us become better and do better as individuals in life.
I deeply hope you understand that I chose you as a friend because I deeply appreciate all the goodness you can show and all the goodness hidden within.
Dear lost friend: please remember that here, there, everywhere, you will always be my friend.
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